The Quotable Behan
On Critics
- A drama critic is like a bicycle without a saddle. They both give me a pain in the arse.
- Critics are like eunuchs in a Harem. They know exactly how it should be done, they see it done every night, but they still cannot do it themselves
On Drink
- I’m a drinker with a writing problem
- I drink like a fish. The only difference is we drink different stuff.
On Death
- I’m staying alive only to save the funeral expenses
- There is no bad publicity, except an obituary notice.
On Irish People
- God created alcohol to stop the Irish from ruling the world.
- If there were only three Irishmen left in the world, you’d find two of them in the corner talking about the other
- If it was raining soup, the Irish would be out with forks.
