Challenging the Moderator
Recently I noticed a moderator reprimand a user on FaceBook and their post was deleted. The moderator pointed out the standards and reminded the person that anything that violates those standards would be deleted. In addition, there was the risk that repeated offenders would have their page removed completely.
This got me thinking about my own personal moderator in my life. We all have one. In psychotherapy, it is sometimes referred to as the unconscious. This is where we store our old memories and knowledge. This is the part of us that can influence/moderate our behaviour. This part of ourselves often needs investigation.
Therefore, it’s useful to ask ourselves what commands does your moderator make, what are the rules in your life.
Some of the rules set out by the moderator are.
You must seek approval from others
Never praise yourself.
Always put the family first.
You must never forget your past mistakes.
You must never display anger.
These directives are set up from when we are quite young. Overly strict, dysfunctional, or simply inadequate parents can give negative directives. These directives /commands can cause us a great deal of unhappiness in our future lives.
It is useful to sit down in a quiet place and without thinking too much about it write out any rules that your moderator makes. Some rules don’t really matter and we can ignore them but if you find a rule that is making you unhappy or dis-satisfied with your life. Write the opposite to the rule and start to live that way. It will take time and feel uncomfortable at first but with practise, it can become a new way to live. If there are, many rules work on them one by one taking the easiest first. If there is a rule that is causing you unhappiness, or blocking you from moving forward in your life. And you cannot change it by yourself, Making an appointment with a counsellor would be beneficial to help you move that block.
Ava Stapleton
Counsellor / Psychotherapist.
IACP. H.Dip Supervision.
Excellent points and very relevant.