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The Quotable Behan

Brendan Beehan

The Quotable Behan

On Critics

  • A drama critic is like a bicycle without a saddle. They both give me a pain in the arse.
  • Critics are like eunuchs in a Harem. They know exactly how it should be done, they see it done every night, but they still cannot do it themselves

On Drink

  • I’m a drinker with a writing problem
  • I drink like a fish. The only difference is we drink different stuff.

On Death

  • I’m staying alive only to save the funeral expenses
  • There is no bad publicity, except an obituary notice.

On Irish People

  • God created alcohol to stop the Irish from ruling the world.
  • If there were only three Irishmen left in the world, you’d find two of them in the corner talking about the other
  • If it was raining soup, the Irish would be out with forks.

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